WHATEVER DON’T KILL YOU JUST MAKES YOU SOMBER by Local Honey

By RECAPS / / Re-gender, Re-perform, Re-write / No Comments

WHATEVER DON’T KILL YOU
JUST MAKES YOU SOMBER

*~prologue~*

((i’m not going to avoid clichés))

but just approach them with sincerity
and the heart that i most often wear on my sleeve

i didn’t choose to live in a society that bases the presumed gender of a person solely on the amount of hair that they grow on their face and body

and the pitch of their voice
the decibel a word cracks in the throat

i am on the path to deciding to stay here, though

i’m refiguring out

who She might be

year of wh♀re was the first step in a long process of trans*formation
that my spirit will endure for the rest of my lives (Y.A.L.A.)

i am constantly {evol}ving

{love}

and shifting how i view myself and feel inside and
out

consider this a transition vlog
repositioning manifreshto for miss local honey
she is a mover, a restless troubadour
the nomadic heart never bleeds faintly
and i want to perfume you with the tearz
of queer sorrow only 1 grrl could admit
i’ve never once felt truly settled and i don’t think that’s what im goin for

i want to be brave for myself
and for those who’ve loved me graciously: thank you for being generous
with your feelings and vulnerability. 2013 has been a big year for reflection and closure
now i feel ready to enter the rest of this life cycle with clarity and intense forgiveness

breat h i n g f i r s t

LOCAL HONEY MANIFRESHTO

being local is about
being close to your center/core
and being able to share that with others

local is not a place, this is not about xenophobia, which we recognize develops from a person’s fears/discomfort with their own instability in a changing place they once felt comfortable in

(change is inevitable so it important not to let the inevitable pain and fear that ensues, consume you and those around you)

being local is about mapping the intricate patterns of our* emotional landscapes and attempting to bridge outside maps/spiritual systems/celestial bodies/weather patterns with one’s own… this is not about colonization which roots from a person’s desire to own and control others to feel more empowered on their own

(an attempt to take control of the entire infrastructure is ill advised and will be met with greater burdens)

it is more important for us to find power locally and to bring up excavate/plumage/dig the depths of your soul, feminine, (and other unknown) magics
within and without

these heels are made for [walking/werking] and that’s just what they’ll do… one of these days these heels are gonna split your neck and head in two

and by that i mean my own brain split down the middle into two+ [bodies/beauties/bootys]

like severing excess… shaving off the trauma
repackaging the trivial… slipping into Y chromosome

y cuntrol

i was once told that closets were for clothes
but now i have so many that they flood outward in piles on the floor

i can’t hide anymore. i have to cum out/clean everyday and facefuck the music
my legs carry burdens that only birdwings could remedy

after all this searching for big skies and cloud drips i found my feet where i started
i was am here, bitch, i was am here

I’m still here and I’m praying and listening to the goddesses vague whispered songs

Lift
daddy i’m all growing up

below is a photo my mom shot of a video we did together being fierce sentimental bitches and hugging on her bed wearing our bras and holding each other for support, cause that’s what sisters do. i cry because of the fleetingness of this moment and maybe we won’t ever be able to connect like this again. good night peace out to the night sky and bless the moon i’m always stuck on:

*our = multiple tense(s) of “my” singular mind

thanks for your time
with love, fiction, and friction,

local honey

23 years old today
nov 25, 2013

Local Honey is working on building your trust. She began as a drag concept in the year 2010 and has since harnessed and possesses a full-time human form! She exists ambivalently in tranbiguous states of undress. By performing tragic rituals, she conjures the divine feminine to enact catharsis and work through queer-lived trauma. Local Honey is a vague troubadour. She likes grey areas and stormy weather.

a l i e n m o o n p a r t n e r s h i p